Day-18 (21) Develop a supportive commumnity #21daygoalchallenge

Most of us have a need to be part of a community that shares love, commitment, security and connections. We can all create our own “chosen family”, by consciously choosing whom to become more intimate with and investing our time and energy into these relationships. It’s the people in our lives who make good times better and difficult ones easier.

Take some time out to look at your community which is made of acquaintances, friend and families -see if they are made any of these type of people who are going to help you achieve your goals. Some people may have more than one of the qualities below. The key is to have a community of people who is going to encourage and support you.

Proactive – This person is doing things to get themselves on a path of personal development and is proactive in changing their life for the better.

Appreciative – This person consistently appreciates and values your relationship as well as your gifts, talents and strengths.

Communicative – This person is committed to respectful and non-defensive communication, constructive and honest (always with love), the kind of communication that brings a relationship closer together instead of further part.

Attentive – This person pays attention to what you say, listening without judgement, and caring about what you need to feel safe.

Honest – This person is committed to integrity and telling the truth.

Accountable – this person takes full responsibility for their part in the relationship and is always willing to work to look at and deal with how they need to grow.

 

How did you get on with th above?

 

Would you benefit from my free coaching sessions to help you achieve your goals? if so do email me genny@confidentqueen.co.uk

 

Instead of only surrounding yourself with where you’ve been, why not surround yourself with where you’re headed Make a VISION BOARD of your DREAMS, GOALS & ASPIRATIONS to help you stay FOCUSED.

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Marriage tips

I do believe in marriage and I am always happy and excited when I hear about people getting married. Even though my own marriage lasted for  5 years, I did have happy moments, and looking back, I have learnt from the experience and though no two marriages are the same, I feel I can share a few tips which I hope can help.

  • Start your day with a prayer together for continued love, peace understanding and harmony in your relationship.
  • Respect, love, appreciate each other and make your marriage a priority.
  • Enjoy a healthy sex life satisfying each other’s needs.
  • Practise the One Minute Smilence regularly –  recall happy moments in your life whilst smiling for a minute.
  • Don’t let the same things upset you over and over again – try and resolve it.

 

  • Their will be conflict, disappointments’ and set backs but its all part of your marriage journey, try and resolve them between yourselves and if you can’t get a trusted impartial person  or even get a counsellor who can help you resolve it.
  • Even if you have had a disagreement during the day, before you go to bed each night, still give each other a peck and a cuddle and say I still love you.
  • Don’t take each other for granted,

  • Give each other space to pursue interests, hobbies and time with friends and family.
  • Do all you can to keep peace within you home
  • Sometimes you just have to say – I am sorry, I was wrong, please forgive me, I love and care for you.
  • Sometimes you have to bite your tongue and let things go.
  • Do not put your partner down or say negative things about them especially to each other’s family and friends.

  • Try not to let outsiders interfere in your marriage, together you must unite and work hard to keep the relationship going.
  • Make time for special date nights
  • Know the things that your partner loves and  now and then surprise them
  • Continue to have fun together and keep a box of cherished moments so that you can recall them together.

 

 

 

 

By Genny Jones AKA Confident Queen @confident_queen   18.5.2018

 

 

How to bounce back from relationship break down

It’s not easy when you have spent so many years in a relationship to be faced with a future of being alone and trying to cope with all the issues that it brings. The key is to accept how you are feeling right now and learn to take one day at a time with the belief that one day you will feel better and the hurt you feel will be less painful.

Here is an extract of an interesting article I read about the four stages of a relationship breakdown.  Having gone through relationship break down in the past, I could relate to the stages  and know that  the length of each stage varies depending on each of us and our coping mechanism.

https://www.slideshare.net/thecycleofreunion/the-four-stages-of-emotions-following-a-break-up

Stage One: Shock – When your relationship comes to an end you will feel shock. If you knew there was trouble and a break up was heading your way then the shock might not be as great, but there will still be some degree of shock. If you were still happy in the relationship but your partner ended it out of the blue, then the shock you will feel will be very strong.

Stage Two:  Denial –when you refuse to believe that the relationship is over. Perhaps you have been in denial that there have been any problems occurring within your relationship and don’t want to accept that the relationship is now over. You might try to convince yourself that it is just a temporary setback that you will be able to resolve. Unfortunately, if your partner has broken off the relationship, then it might be too late to resolve any problems that have been building up overtime.

Stage Three: Depression. Feeling depressed is a completely normal reaction following a relationship break up. No-one enjoys ending a relationship and even if you are the partner that chose to end the relationship you will still experience sadness at the end of this major stage of your life. Itis best to try and move on and keep yourself  busy so you don’t spend all your time thinking about it.

Stage Four:  Acceptance. Although it can take time to reach this stage, once you  accept that the relationship is over then you can move on with your life. Be happy that you were able to experience a loving relationship for a short time and put the relationship and the break up down to experience.

Stop beating yourself up, everyone makes mistakes #fittergenny

Yesterday whilst I was waiting for the train I  overheard an adult saying to a child  “Mistakes are normal and part of life, top beating yourself up about it, you have to learn from it and move on.   You need to keep a dairy of things that happened to you so you can go back and read them and learn from them” I was so inspired by this, that when the train came, I decided to sit opposite them .

From their conversation, I realised they where father and son, and it brought tears to my eyes as it reminded me of my father who dies 31 years ago, and I miss him every day and wished we had moments like these when he could have imparted some wisdom to me. This proud dad continued to encourage his son, who was listening to his dad and asking questions along the way.  ,

 

 

I did it – completed 6 weeks #fitnesschallenge #fittergenny

6 weeks ago, thanks to ,Sarah Knight of  Gravesham Borough Council, I embarked on a journey towards becoming healthier and fitter by making use of the free 6 weeks membership of the leisure facilities provided by Gravesham Council.

 Their have been days when I did not want to go to the gym, but somehow managed to stay motivated by using various methods such as:-

  1. I planned each week the days and times I would go to gym
  2. I started to develop the  mindset that exercise and eating healhier was good for me
  3. Asking my face book friends and family to encouraged and support me
  4. My children who are very sporty footballers encouraged me
  5. I had  daily mantras and use visualisation to imagine my self being fiifter and healthier
  6. I read stories on the internet about various people who had changed their lives through exercise and eating healthier.
  7. .I wore inspirational Tshirts as well as colourful outfits at time
  8. I made short fun videos at every opportunity
  9. The team at the leisure centre were very supportive  and encouraging.
  10. I had an exercise programme to use in the gym which I  found easy to follow
  11. Whilst doing my exercise at times I listened to music, ot watched the TV or practised mindfulness to help me focus.
  12. I also did a variety of classes including yoga, zumba and konga

I will now pay for membership of the  leisure centre because of the wide variety of classes I can include with going to the gym. I am also making an investment on my health as I so want to be around to watch my children entre adulthood and to also be able to have good times with my family and friends.

I am also going to train to be a fitness trainer  by the end of 2019

I am also working on a healthier eating plan

I hope you too are inspired and motivated to take care of you and your health.

Special thanks to the services offered by these organisations which all helped to make my journey of getting fitter and healtheir such an enjoyable one.

 

http://www.gcll.co.uk/gym/

http://myzone.org/

https://www.boditrax.com/

 

 

I wear what I like to the gym – #fittergenny

When I go to the gym, I just like to wear what I feel comfortable in, and tend to mix match my outfits. I do love wearing Tshirts/tops with insirational messages to help motivate and encourage me.

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Lessons from a cow on how to be happier!

  1. Wake up in a happy mooo-d.

 

  1. Don’t cry over spilled milk.

 

  1. When chewing your cud, remember: There’s no fat, no calories, no cholesterol, and no taste!

 

  1. The grass is green on the udder side of the fence.

 

  1. Turn the udder cheek and mooo-ve on.

 

  1. Seize every opportunity and milk it for all its worth!

 

  1. It’s better to be seen and not herd.

 

  1. Honour thy fodder and thy mother and all your udder relatives.

 

  1. Never take any bull from anybody.

 

  1. Don’t forget to cow-nt your blessings every day

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