7 Days Happiness Challenge from Monday 11th July

Over the last few days, I have come accross a lot of people who are feeling very overwhelmed and fed up with their lives.  One lady said to me  recently ” It  starts when you wake up in the morning, put your TV on and all you hear is about bad things happening all over the world, I feel so frigthened at times and don’t even want to leave home at times. I feel so lonely as I live alone, and even though I have a job, I feel alone, sad and depressed in the evening at weekends as  have no one to talk to”

This really touched me, as I have been through similar situation but have now managed to find ways to cope with life and help others to find that inner peace which can then lead to outward happiness and joy!

So join me from Monday and lets try and create happy moments for ourselves and others.

happinesschallenge

No matter what you are going through give yourself permission to smile!

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“…..and still I smile”

Genny - and still I smile coversheetangela-page0001

There are times in our lives, when we face a challenging situation and spend days asking the questions  such as why me? Why is my life not going the way I want it to go?   Why does it seem that everyone is moving on and I am still seem to be stagnant?

I have had some moments when I feel hopeless, when I felt I was in a dark hole with no way out. It can seem at times that everyone is having a party and you are not invited. “and still I smile” is my story of  learning to cope and smile in the midst of obstacles, challenges and set back.

In my presentation, I explain th reasons why I can wake up and smile not because my life is perfect, but because I have learnt that so long as I am alive, I have hope and many reasons to smile. I also have a strong faith and belief that no matter what, things will always turn out good.

 

My aim is to share my experiences to give Hope and inspire as many people as I can.

Book Now-

and Still I smile – 15 minutes  speaking presentation

and still I smile – 1 day activity workshop showing you how you too can develop strategies to cope with life challenges

Email: genny @ confidentqueen . co. uk

The 21 Days sadness diet© Day 21 (Congratulations)

congratulationsThe 21 Days sadness diet© Day 21 Congratulations

Hello again, and welcome the final day of our 21 Days Diet, and I am so grateful and thankful that you have been part of it.

So right now, what colour is your happiness level?

sadness

Please let me know by commenting on this blog how this sadness diet© has helped you and any comment or suggestions you may have to help me improve it.

RECAP ON SOME OF THE KEY POINTS

IGROWS

The idea of The sadness diet© is for us to look at the things that make us sad, and together find ways to help us feel happier and have a reason to wake up each day with a smile. So on this journey, I have tried to Support, Motivate, Inspire, Love, and Encourage you.

The method I used to help us look at ways of being happier is the part of a coaching model “IGROWS” which I learnt as part of my Life Coaching course with the Coaching Academey .“IGROWS” mean (Issue, Goals, Reality, Options, Willingness and Smiles.

facts of smiling

Tips to cope when you feel a bit sad

Acknowledge that you are sad – because life is full of challenges and its ok to be sad

Express your feelings of sadness – It is important that you express how you feel as it is all part of the journey towards happiness. So cry, scream etc it’s ok ( this too will pass away) and be patient that in time you will feel happier again.

You could also have a sadness party https://confidentqueen.wordpress.com/2014/07/30/sadness-party/

If you are really feeling deeply sad or depressed, remember you are not alone, and if you feel like talking to someone there is the Samaritans, Mind, NHS Choices and similar organizations that can help you.

Before you go to bed each night just focus on things you are grateful for, think happy thoughts, play happy music so that you can go to bed feeling good and enjoying a good night’s sleep. ( See below on how to add the instant feel good factor to your day).

When you wake up each morning, take a deep breath, focus on grateful for, think happy thoughts, play happy music so that you can start your day with a smile and in a good mood. ( See below on how to add the instant feel good factor to your day)

visualise

Next Steps

Over the next few days, I want you to develop daily habits that will help you to cope with life’s unexpected events that make you sad. Refer back to the 21 days diet and decide which activities work best for you. Below is a suggestion of things you can do each day when you wake up, during the Day and before going to bed.

Instant Feel Good Factor

Find a quiet place

Sit down

Breathe in slowly and Breathe out Slowly ( do this a couple of times)

Breathe in slowly and then laugh out loud slowly (do this a couple of times)

Say – I am so grateful and happy to be alive to see another day.

Think and focus on something that makes you feel happy or just make sing and dance to my favourite “wake up I feel happy boom, boom, I feel like dancing around boom boom, and now I am dancing line no one’s watching boom, boom” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQPhLEWmTvo

Smile – Just spend a few seconds smiling, and then I want you to give out a couple of big laughs (hahaha) and say (woohoo boom boom)

Get your Gift of a smile box, and make use of the items as you continue to feel good and smile,

Now give yourself a big hug them go and share a smile and a hug with someone else!

hug2

SUMMARY OF THE LAST 21 DAYS

Over the last 21 Days, we have covered the following topics and if you do need the whole 21 days I can send you in my Ebook which I am creating for £7. I also offer one to one coaching session to help you in your journey to your happier life and this is £27 per session which can be via skype, telephone, and emails. Face to Face meetings will be charged at a higher rate to cover travel time and costs. I am based in Gravesend Kent (UK)

The 21 Days sadness diet© Day 1 Issue

The 21 Days sadness diet© Day 2 Goals

The 21 Days sadness diet© Day 3 Goals – Vision Boards

The 21 Days sadness diet© Day 4 Affirmations

The 21 Days sadness diet© Day 5 Celebrate our progress so far

The 21 Days sadness diet© Day 6 Don’t be weighed down by your problems

The 21 Days sadness diet© Day 7 The Gift of a Smile Box

The 21 Days sadness diet© Day 8 Options

The 21 Days sadness diet© Day 9 I am willing to change

The 21 Days sadness diet© Day 10 Don’t be discouraged

The 21 Days sadness diet© Day 11 Make the most of your time

The 21 Days sadness diet© Day 12 You are never too old

The 21 Days sadness diet© Day 13 Six Ways to Wellbeing

The 21 Days sadness diet© Day 14 Meditation by – Liz Almond

The 21 Days sadness diet© Day 15 Mindfulness from Action for Happiness

The 21 Days sadness diet© Day 16 It’s good to hug

The 21 Days sadness diet© Day 18 Bury your regrets

The 21 Days sadness diet© Day 19 Time to Review and Reflect

The 21 Days Sadness diet© Day 20 Law of Attraction

The 21 Days Sadness diet© Day 21 Congratulations

willingtochange

The 21 sadness diet© Day 20 ( Law of Attraction)

attraction1

The sadness diet©

The idea of The sadness diet© is for us to look at the things that make us sad, and together find ways to help us feel happier and have a reason to wake up each day with a smile. So on this journey, we will all Support, Motivate, Inspire, Love, and Encourage each other. Method we will use is called “IGROWS” turn our sadness into Joy. (Issue, Goals, Reality, Options, Willingness and Smiles

Feedback from yesterday

I hope that yesterday you were able to go over any days you have missed as well as writing down all the things that you are grateful and thankful for.

Today we look at the law of attraction

The law of attraction is the name given to the belief that “like attracts like” and that by focusing on positive or negative thoughts, one can bring about positive or negative results. You see, if you want something to happen, such as you want a bike, don’t just say I want that bike, believe you are going to get that bike. Instead of telling yourself you want the bike, visualise yourself riding that bike. It doesn’t matter whether or not you know when you are going to receive it, just believe you’re going to get it and have no doubts about it. If you have any doubts, quickly change your thought pattern to the positive and focus on receiving or having what you want.

It worked for me

This year, one of my wish was to have a contract for training that would give me a certain amount of money which would help me to improve the quality of life for my children and I. I had no doubt that in time, it would happen. First thing in the morning and last thing at night, I would focus on this and I also was thankful and grateful to God for providing me with this. Within a week of this, I was offered a part time contract for even more that I expected

 

 

Practical steps to use the Law of Attraction

For this to work, you have to believe that it will work, as well as be prepared take the necessary actions everyday towards achieving what you want. To start with, make sure you have about 30 minutes and find somewhere comfortable and relaxing.

Relax your mind

relaxyourmind

Relax your mind by meditating for 5 to 10 minutes. Doing this will increase brain power and have your mind at that relaxed state. This step is optional but recommended

Be sure of what you want 

Be sure about what you want and that is something you have strong enthusiasm for. It is best if you focus on one thing at a time. Try at first wishing for things that are easy and measurable then when your wish comes true you will know for sure you got what you wished for. This will build faith.

Ask and you will receive

askandyoushallreceive

Make your request to God, the Universe or whoever you believe in

Create a picture board (vision board) of what you want

visionboard

Use pictures you may have or pictures from magazines a to help you see and feel what you want, look at that picture everyday (better to do this in the morning since this will help you to feel better throughout the day), and focus on feelings of happiness, excitement etc

Visualise (Imagine) that what you want is already yours – when you visualise, you have to do so in details. Example: If you’re wanting that Nintendo Wii, see yourself sitting down playing a game on it. See yourself feeling the controller, playing your favourite game(s), touching the console.

visualise

Focus on what you want

Focus as often as you can on what you DO want rather than on what you don’t want..

writeyourwish

Write your wish down. Start with “I am so happy and grateful now that…” and finish the sentence (or paragraph) telling God/ Universe what it is that you want. Write it in the present tense as if you have it right now. Avoid negation terms. Every day until your wish comes true, close your eyes and imagine that what it feels like to have received what you want.

Feel it. This is where you have to feel the way you would feel once you have received what you want. You must act, speak, and think as if you are receiving it now.

gratitude

Show gratitude.

Write down all the things you currently have and be grateful and thankful for them

Be grateful and thankful to for experiences you have had which though may have been painful, but when you look back, you realise they have made you a better person. Be Grateful and thankful that what you want to happen is going to happen.

Be Patient

bepatient

Don’t look for what you asked for, be patient and don’t get upset if these things don’t happen immediately. Don’t stress the “how” of things. Just know that in time, things will happen and work out for the best.

Article Credits – http://www.wikihow.com/Use-the-Law-of-Attraction

For more information and support email me genny@confidentqueen.co.uk

It would be good if you could try following the above steps and let me know how you get on.

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The sadness diet© Day 19 ( Time to Review and Reflect)

relect2

The sadness diet©

The idea of The sadness diet© is for us to look at the things that make us sad, and together find ways to help us feel happier and have a reason to wake up each day with a smile. So on this journey, we will all Support, Motivate, Inspire, Love, and Encourage each other. Method we will use is called “IGROWS” turn our sadness into Joy. (Issue, Goals, Reality, Options, Willingness and Smiles

I am excited!

I am feeling so excited that I have managed to keep on writing about the sadness diet, and I am grateful for all the wonderful comments and feedback that you have given me. Over the last 18 days, we all must have had some unexpected news or situation, that stopped us on our track and seemed to mess up our well laid plans.   In those moments, we may have cried, felt disappointed and frustrated, but in time, we got over it, and still carry on with our lives realising that sadness is temporary and it’s all part of life. We realise that their have also been opportunities and situations that made us stop and say “…..despite it all, but still I smile!

 refelecct1

Time to review and reflect

Today, we will take time to review your progress so far as well as time for you to catch up on any of the day’s activity you may have missed,

Activity 1 – go through all the different articles I have brought to you as part of this 21 days sadness diet and pick up the key things that matter to you.

Activity 2 –   Come up with ways you can incorporate some of the ideas into your daily lifestyle e.g One of the things I do each day is to meditate at least 10 minutes in the morning and before I go to sleep.

Activity 3 – What things will you take on board to help you at moments when you feel sad? E.g I keep my box of smiles in my bag daily so that at moment when I feel sad and I find a quite place to reflect on the items in it.

Activity 3 – What are you grateful for?

Grateful

Just take a moment to write down all the people, things, situations that you are grateful for right now? e.g for me I am so grateful, thankful and happy that I have been able to secure part time contracts which will now allow me to have regular monthly income each month.

Take care and see you tomorrow when we will look at the Law of Attraction.

thoughtsbecomethings

The 21 Days sadness diet© Day 18 (Bury your regrets)

neverregret

Welcome back

Thank you so much for joining in our Sadness Diet and the journey to happier times.   In everyday life, we realise that there is a time for every purpose under heaven, their will be times when we feel sad and times when we feel happy. Yesterday we used the resources from ( http://www.positivityblog.com/index.php/2014/03/05/grateful-when-times-are-tough/) and we focused on how to be grateful even when we feel sad.

Why we regret things at times

One of the biggest cause of sadness for a lot of us is “regret” when things are not going according to plan, and we have too much time to think, we can sometime fall into depression and sadness as we start focussing of regret using “If only”

Regret happens when you don’t forgive yourself. When your mistake feels final, like going too fast on a motorway, it is too easy to feel regret. However, forgiveness is a powerful catalyst, and is one of the most loving actions you can take for yourself. While regret holds you back in the past, forgiveness helps you to move forward.

Tell yourself, “That was part of who I was then. I didn’t know any better or I would have made a different choice. That mistake helped me to grow into who I am today. I forgive myself and resolve to move forward.” Believe what you tell yourself.

regrets of the dying

The day I was feeling so sad

A while back ago, I was feeling a bit sad and this was triggered by the fact that I had problems with my sink, and I needed to get a plumber out but right at that point I did not have the money to get a plumber in, and at the same time my son could not go to a particular event he had been invited to as their was no one to take him and I had to give up my car two years ago whilst I sorted my temporary financial set back.

But this day, as I sat down at home on my own, I really felt sad, and started to focus on the fact that I did not have regular contract, I wished I had not got myself in so much debt, I regretted the fact that my life was not going how I had expected it – get married, have children, enjoy wonderful family live, retire early and travel round the world! I really felt so sad and started to cry, but in the midst of it all, a friend of mine called and was a bit upset and I spent time talking to her and cheering her up. After speaking to her, I forgot I was sad, and just got up and started to do things to stop me from focussing on my past regrets. Out of all this, I decided to write this 21 days sadness diet, as a way of helping me to cope and also to share my experiences with you.

 

Tips on coping with regret

  1.  Let go of the past, and create a better future. When you do this, there is no longer room for regret, for it serves no active purpose.
  2. Concentrate on now. Put your passion into a new relationship, a new skill or a new adventure.
  3. Forgive yourself, learn from your mistakes, and move forward with a clear conscience.
  4. Let Go of Negative Feelings and send negative feelings about your actions into the past, where the action occurred. They don’t do you any good now.
  5. Focus on new accomplishments and connections so you can move forward, away from memories, which no longer serve you.
  6. Find the Lessons – Ask yourself, “What can I learn from this?” When you make a mistake, there is ALWAYS something to learn. Learning equals growth. It is more difficult to feel loss when your focus is on gain, and on bettering yourself.

Activity – How Bury your regret

  1. Get a piece of paper and write down all the things you regret and why you regret it.
  2. Cross a line against each one as a way of reminding yourself , that it is the past, it is gone and there is nothing you can do to change it.
  3. Forgive yourself, as sometimes we make choices which at the time seem to be good, but on later reflection we realise it was not a good choice.
  4. Try and learn the lessons you gained from it
  5. Now cut the paper up in small pieces
  6. You then need to find a spot in an open space – lets say if you have a back garden, dig a whole and bury the small pieces, or if you have a shredder you can shred it, or safely you could burn the paper – it is a way of letting go
  7. Now take a deep breath and focus on what you can do right now to change your situation – if you find you cannot cope with doing this, do ask for help or you can email me genny@confidentqueen.co.uk

How to make amends with others

If you regret something you have done to someone, then you should try and ask for forgiveness from that person and if they don’t accept your forgives, its ok as you have done your part and they may not be at a place yet where they can forgive you.

Some times it is difficult if the person has died but you can still. My dad died 29 years ago, and I really regret the fact that when I was younger he promised to buy me a white pair of shoes, and he never had the chance to. This affected me for years, but one day I remember waking up crying and saying “ Dad I love you, now you are gone I know you can’t buy me my shoes, but it’s ok now and I forgive you”

Credits and useful links :-

http://thinksimplenow.com/wisdom/how-to-deal-with-regret/

http://www.actionforhappiness.org/10-keys-to-happier-living/find-ways-to-bounce-back/details

Please feel free to email or comment on this blog, which I hope has helped you to cope with some of the regrets you may have. May the Smile be with you.

The 21 Days sadness diet© Day 17 (Be Grateful even when you feel sad)

Grateful

Welcome back

Thank you so much for joining in our Sadness Diet and the journey to happier times.  In everyday life, we realise that there is a time for every purpose under heaven, their will be times when we feel sad and times when we feel happy. Yesterday we used the resources from http://www.mindbodygreen.com and looked at why its good to enjoy a hug. I hope you managed to hug yourself and shared hugs with others/

Today we look at – Being Grateful even when you are feeling sad

Some days we wake up feeling excited and passionate about life and things are just great. We then have days when we do not feel much motivated at all. When our best laid plans go out the window before the day has barely begun; or when something important unexpectedly goes wrong and we get that sinking feeling our your stomach. Or when you feel sorry for yourself and honestly just want to go back to bed and to sleep again. The old saying tells us to count our blessings, but sometimes that can be difficult to do.

Maybe the simplest and certainly one of the most effective ways to turn such a day, week or month around into something more positive and better is in my experience to turn your focus to gratitude. Because even if things look tough today or for the next 3 or 6 months we can always find something or several things to feel very grateful for about our life. ( http://www.positivityblog.com/index.php/2014/03/05/grateful-when-times-are-tough/)

When you are grateful…….…

Have more energy and optimism

Are less bothered by life’s hassles

Are more resilient in the face of stress

Are healthier

Suffer less depression than the rest of us

Are more compassionate

Are more likely to help others

Are less materialistic

Are more satisfied with life.

9 Benefits of Being Grateful

Some of the things I am grateful for right now in my life

  1. I am alive and in good health
  2. I have wonderful children, family, church  members and a network of fantastic friends
  3. A roof over our heads and a warm, loving and secure home
  4. Plenty of drinkable water when there are so many in the world with no access to clean water
  5. I have more than enough food to eat and to share with others
  6. Regular contract work
  7. I can enjoy the small and free pleasures of life.
  8. Access to the internet which has allowed me to learn so much and make so many new friends
  9. Being able to be happy and share happiness to others
  10. The setbacks that have formed me and made me stronger
  11. Great memories of my family and friends who are no longer with us

 

Activity 1 – So now you need to sit down and just take a few minutes to write down all the things that you are grateful for in your life right now. Take your time and each day just keep writing, for me it is therapy and I love going back and reading my gratitude list especially at times when I feel a bit down, it helps me to realise how blessed I truly am, especially in a world where so many are suffering and in need of the basics of life.

Thanks for taking part in the Sadness diet, and I am grateful that you have given me the opportunity to share with you.  No matter what you are going through give yourself permission to SMILE.

 

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