When your goal seems unreachable and you are getting older

Sometimes it can be difficult to carry on when you feel you are getting older and that you still have not achieved that one goal. Perhaps you have been trying too hard on your own, and it’s time to sum up the courage and confidence to ask for help and learn from someone who has achieved that same goal.

What stops us achieving our goals

Not being clear about want you want

Setting up unrealistic goals

Giving up too quickly

Wishing things will just work out without you doing anything

Being distracted by other stuff

Taking on too much

Trying to do it all on your own

Having no one to support and encourage you

Focussing on the things you don’t have


How to motivate yourself to achieve your goals


Achiving your dreams at 40+

You can just use google to read stories about people who succeded against all odds.




I hope this helps, please don’t give up on your dreams. Do email me if you need some help.



Be willing to change your situation #21DayGoalChallenge

Sometimes we need to take time out to review our livesm find out what is going right, look at  areas of our lives where we seem to be stuck in a rut and try to find out ways of improving our lives for the better. The key is to be willing to change the things that we have control over and learning to live with the things we can’t control.

Take time to write down what areas of your life you need to change and then focus on at least 3 areas, and then take a few action steps each day to help you make the changes in your life that you so desire.



Lessons from the England vs Columbia game #21DayGoalChallange

Yesterday was such an exciting event watching the football with my two teenage sons,  Before I watched the match, I did my tuning in to the England team, through the power of my thoughts and sent them positive and winning vibes. I also posted messages on my social media  – #KeepTheDreamAlive and I encouraged people to also  send positive vibes to the #WinningEnglandTeam

Watching the match was like being on a roller coaster, one minute our hopes where high, then it was dashed as they went to penalty shoot out. At this moment we where so tense and I just did not want to watch.  When Columbia missed one of the penalties, it was tense and as the final England player took the last shot – I was sweating, nervous and closed my eyes praying and then WooHoo hearing the scream from my boys, I knew we had done it. YES we danced, we laughed, we sang and it felt good.


Tips on achieving  goals from watching the match

*Put together a team of people that is going to help you achieve your goals

*Be accountable and have people who will cheer you on your journey to success

* Have a game plan to achieve your goal

*Imagine the end result

*Stay calm even if it seems like you may not achieve your goal

*Give your self some positive self talk

*Believe you can achieve your goal

*Plan how you will celebrate your achievement



Some of my favourite hats which I decorated

I just love getting a hat and using my creativity to enhance the hats.

Courage – Sadness of a broken heart

I am quite proud of the fact that I wrote this short piece for a writing competition and made it to the last 3 finalist. Thanks to Gravesend Library for organising the yearly event and congratulations to the winners.


COURAGE by Genny Jones AKA Confident Queen 2017


It takes courage to put on a brave smile and wipe off the  tears and be determined to rebuild your life and picking up the pieces  of a broken relationship.

Greeting Card Cartoon Illustration of Sad Heart Character on Valentine Day

When  a relationship breaks up, it can leave a deep  hole in your heart. Sometimes you just sit down thinking about all the wonderful memories you shared, and shed a tear for you never thought a day like this will come when you are trying to mend up the pieces of a broken heart. You sometimes feel you life is on auto pilot. Wake up, get dressed, smile, go to work and try to do the best you can as you right nowm can’t afford to also loose your job.

You go with the flow at work pretending all is well. You finish work and go back home, open the door with tears in your eyes as the house suddenly looks so cold and unloved. You want to have something to eat but you can’t, you sit on the chair, looking around, you still have the wedding photos and pictures of you and your partner on the wall.

You feel very sad, and in so much anger and pain you take them off the wall and smash them to relieve your pain. You look down at your fingers and could see blood dripping as you have a cut. You look at the blood and wished you could bleed to death as the pain of a broken heart seems unbearable.   You slump in the chair, with blood still dripping from your finger, somehow you fall into a deep sleep and in that moment all your hurt and pain seem no more.

One night sleeping, you have a strange dream that you are a small bird trapped in a cage,  all of a sudden you could see a large hand opening the door of the cage and a voices say – you are free get up and soar like an eagle. All of a sudden , you start changing into an eagle and you are out of that cage soaring higher and higher.

You wake up in the Morning, thinking of that dream, you feel great and  perhaps it was the wake up call you needed as from this moment you decide enough is enough, time to take courage and be determined to  do whatever it tales to start rebuilding your happier life.

You then begin to think – Just because your once happy relationship comes to an end, does not mean you should but your life on hold and be unhappy whilst the other person has moved on are getting on with their own life. The key is to accept how you are feeling right now and learn to take one day at a time with the belief  and courage hat one day you will feel better and the hurt you feel will be less painful.

How to stop the same bad situation happening in your life #21DayGoalChallenge

The other day, I was thinking about certain things that keep repeating  in my life, and why they kept happening. I researched and  read a few articles about this online, I realised it was really down to what I was saying and my belief

This kept repeating in my life.

I am self employed and one of the problems I have had for years is that I will do work for clients, but when it came to them paying me, I had to keep chasing them and threatening to take legal action.

After reading various articles on the subject – of why the same things keep happening to  you! I discovered that the clients who paid me on time, where the once I was happy to do their work with no problem and I kept saying how good it was to work with them because they always paid me on time.


The clients who had a history of paying me late mainly did this because I had no proper payment terms with them, and some I no longer enjoyed the work I was doing and resented the fact they paid me late. I was also having serious financial setbacks which was causing me stress to the point that I was just taking work on just to be able to make ends meet.


I had to make some changes as I was getting I very frustrated with the while situation. I started to belief that my clients will pay me on time because they appreciated the great work I was doing for them and where happy with my work. I started to say “ I have good clients who  have the money in their account to pay me well before their due date of payment


I also made some practical changes:-

  • I gave notice to the clients who where constantly paying me late.
  • I put in place my payment terms which I sent to every client
  • I made sure every new client paid a deposit
  • I added interest will be charged for late payment of my invoice


The key to break the “same problem” cycle is to recognize and acknowledge your mistakes, learn the lesson, and move forward.  Whether you are younger or older, you can always learn something new. Problems are only life’s way of teaching you a lesson.

Check this article -4 Steps To Remove Recurring Problems From Your Life   http://www.finerminds.com/happiness/4-steps-to-remove-recurring-problems-from-your-life/


How to write down your goals #21DayGoalChallenge

Why you should write down your goals

A study was done by Gail Matthews at Dominican University which found that you become 42% more likely to achieve your goals and dreams, simply by writing them down on a regular basis.

Here are some examples of how to write your goal as if it has happened.

Goal – to loose weight

It’s 21st July 2018 and I am so excited and happy as I have lost 20 pounds and I feel energised and confident  wearing my  lovely dress which fits me very well and everyone is complementing me..

Goal to go to the gym

It is 21st of July 2018 and I feel really proud that I have been waking up at 6,30 am each morning going to go to the gym 3 times a week, and now I feel energised and have signed up to do a 5k race.

Goal to be debt free

It is 21st July 2018, I feel relieved and happy that I have finally been able to make a list of all the people I owe, contact them and they have agreed my proposal to pay off my debts

Action Plan

When you don’t have a plan, you don’t know how you will reach your destination.

Once you have written down your goal, write a specific three-step plan on how you will achieve this goal. Taking small action each day  will help you to achieve your  goal, and it breaks the goal up into smaller manageable chunks making it seem much less daunting and much more achievable.

For example, if your goal is to lose 20 pounds of weight by 21st July 2018, you could write:

– I will walk for 45 minutes every day

– I will only  eat junk food and sweets only twice per week.

– I will drink 2 litres of water each day

If you missed my first blog about this topic check it out –  How to achieve at least one of your goals #21DayGoalChallenge   https://wp.me/p1aWbA-1C2

Do let me know what your goal is in the comments or email to me – genny@confidentqueen.co.uk


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